Here lies my love

When we both meet,
It was a ripple in the beginning,
Turned into an unstoppable tidal surge that engulfs me,
But only me alone being washed out
On the seashore naked and fainted.
And the circulation ends.
R.I.P


Tuesday, November 24, 2009 at 12:33am

Apollo’s arrow across,
A million times ago,
A million times to come.
The glory days of Roman pillars,
Wretched, Cracked and fell.
Surge of the formless fluid
Engulf even Genghis Khan
Jesus Christ, Hitler and John.
There’s a building collapses,
Here’s another construct.
Will my haven devour by this vortex?
Hell no!
Infant, puberty,
No worries.
Adult, Aged,
Questioning, wondering and praying
For the lost youth and
The glory days.
No, no, no.
Wrinkles do not appear in Eden.
Satan’s conspiracy on human,
I curse the day Adam and Eve left,
When they find world
Different and changing.
Fickle and swaying.
No, no, no.
Eddie was an adorable child,
Now a vicious gambler.
Billy dream of being a pilot,
He is covered with dirt now.
We are born cursed
In a race that we will never win.
No, no, no.
Inevitable fate,
Now surrounding with ransom,
Adversity follows next;
Misfortune to Millionaire,
Dark to Bright,
Forest to bleak.
Familiar does not last.
It is not death that fear us,
No, no, no.
Only the change of world.
Inevitable doom.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009 at 11:51pm

watching the clock in a rainiy day

Watching the clock ticks in a rainy day.
One second follows another,
Raindrops drop after another,
Every tiny movement of the second hand’s
A violent strike.

Watching the raindrops in a free autumn’s day.
One drop after another,
An hour after another,
Every drip of the raindrops’ like
Tears marching down my cheek.

Hearing the rumble of the thunder,
A strike follows another,
Each time fiercer than the other.
Raindrops drip violently,
Hitting the roof of the cottage,
I can’t hear my heart.

Feeling the strong wind of a storm,
Ticking sounds of the clock and water droppings
That barely hears,
I lose my senses.

[…]

"Shh…"
Here’s Sanity talking to me again,
Vision of a blind,
Aural of a deaf.
Alas,
Anything but HE!
HE who make one,
To grief,
To please,
To FEEL,
Anything but HE,
With a sudden sound flash through my mind,
“You can never hide from me.”


23.10.2008

Bubble

A gloomy afternoon, I was pottering in a park. The park was abandoned quite a time and it was barren. I saw a little girl was blowing a bubble from a bottle. She tried arduously and eventually a big bubble was floating in the air (insouciantly). The bubble was filling with different color due to the refraction of the sunlight, even though there was only a bitty of it. It was beautiful. For that very moment, I saw my own image on the bubble, what surprised me was a smile appear on my gloomy face. I saw happiness and blessings in the bubble.

I was indulging myself in it until suddenly, the bubble burst out. I was left agape. “Where has all the happiness and wonderful color went?” I asked the little girl agitatedly. The little girl was shocked by my sudden doing. “Par… Pardon me…sir? I don’t see… see any happiness … or anything… It was… only a bubble…” she cried. Then she ran away. Leaving the bottle on the floor, the soap water in it was all spilt out. No more bubble for me! I grabbed the bottle up and tried to blow it myself but nothing came out. Alas! Who can blow another bubble with such wonderful color and filled with happiness in it for me? After a moment of meditating, I threw the bottle away and kept wondering in the barren park.

生命中的缺口

“滴答…滴答…”已是深夜的台北市下起了突如其來的傾盆大雨，為寧靜的夜晚蒙上了一股陰沉的氣息。深夜，大部分人都因歷經日落前的四處奔波忙碌而疲倦，想必都已上床就寢，正受大雨所侵襲的台北市當下一片死寂。

此時，幾乎被黑夜吞嚥的某一角落，一絲微弱的燈光從門縫參透出來。微弱的燈光在黑夜中閃爍著，彷彿正努力為寒冷的黑夜帶來溫暖。門的另一邊是間學校的老舊的宿舍房間，本是亮色的牆壁粉刷也隨著時間的流逝而或是變暗，或是脫落。空間不大的房裡的擺設使得坊間更擁擠，四具衣櫃，四張床，四張桌子…

燈光正是從較靠窗的座位由桌上的桌燈所發出。在燈光下，我正翻閱朋友們所贈送的留言手冊。手冊裡面盡是來台前朋友所給的祝福。我一頁接一頁翻閱著，看著友人們衷心的為我祝福嘴角也不禁往上揚。那一刻，過往在馬來西亞各種美好的回憶，就像隨著體內載著氧氣的血液奔向身體的每一處，再想到不久後可以乘暑假返回故鄉，迎來我到台後鮮少露出的笑容。

“轟隆…轟隆…”剎那間，烏黑的天空劃出一道閃電，隨之而來的是一陣驚天的咆哮。這一聲雷聲竟把陶醉在過往美好回憶的我也驚醒了。當下往窗外一望，才驚覺已然下起了大雨。 “唉…今天傍晚前天氣明明就很晴朗，絲毫沒有下雨的跡象…怎麼現在下起了大雨呢?”我喃喃自語道。隨著心情的平復，宿舍內顯得格外寒冷。我望著窗外發呆，欲看深夜下雨的情景，然而前方的景象卻因豪雨而變得朦朧。豆大般的雨點打在面前的玻璃窗上，然後慢慢的沿著玻璃留下，掉落地上。雨水透過玻璃乃是那麼的清晰，然而卻因為燈光而形成一點一點黑色的影子，掉落在桌上，朋友所贈送的手冊也被如雨點的影子一點一點的被吞嚥。

“天氣轉變的好快…”心裡想說。抬頭一望，不久之前的明月夜被烏雲所矇蔽。

“變…”怪哉!怪哉!心頭忽然一陣微涼。原本興奮的心情在一瞬間變得烟飛雲散，取而代之的是冒起莫名的恐懼和不安。望著窗前朦朧的景象，自己的前景似乎也變得沒有頭緒了，只有呆呆的望著窗外，不知如何是好。適才強烈回家的在此刻，彷彿又如雨點般打在窗上，一點一滴的往下流去；過往的回憶也隨著雨點的留逝一幕一幕的呈現宰我眼前，昔日的朋友親人、往日在馬來西亞熟悉的地方、過往的一切一切美好的回憶…在我來台灣唸書的期間不知可一如往常?

焦慮、不安、踌躇、空虛各種愁緒如洶湧的潮水向我侵襲。無數個念頭在我腦海中盤旋: 要是一直期望的“家”在此刻不像有以往的親切感? 要是唯一能了解我的朋友都離我而去呢? 如果它代表我生命中的原動力而它卻消失了我該怎樣是好? 如果… “故鄉” 不再是 “故鄉”呢? 如果…

想著想著窗外的雨勢漸小，原來覆蓋明月的烏雲也逐漸散開。溫和的月光透過透明的玻璃窗折射進我宿舍，讓寒冷的房間感到一絲絲的暖意。由於雨勢逐漸減弱，窗外的景象也清晰了。我望著月亮沉思…良久良久，月亮隨者時間而時圓時缺，有如世事般變幻無常。

世事的轉變也真難預料，它們都跟隨時間的腳步一步一步往前進。世事的變遷往往都能摧殘身邊一切事物，然而有些事是需要時間去磨和。唐朝詩仙李白有曰“君不見黃河之水天上來，奔流到海不復回。”，杜甫則又有雲“無邊落木蕭蕭下，不盡長江滾滾來。”兩位詩人皆提與對時間的感概。時間，竟然能熟悉的弟方面目全非也能讓你用它來適應一個陌生的環境。

　“客亦知夫水與月乎？逝者如斯，而未嘗往也；盈虛者如彼，而卒莫消長也。蓋將自其變者而觀之，而天地曾不能一瞬；自其不變者而觀之，則物於我皆無盡也。而又何羨乎？且夫天地之間，物各有主。苟非吾之所有，雖一毫而莫取。惟江上之清風，與山間之明月，耳得之而為聲，目遇之而成色。取之無禁，用之不竭。是造物者之無盡藏也，而吾與子之所共適。”這是蘇軾在<<前赤壁賦>>一文中的看法，說明物我水月，概無窮盡，唯有適情順物，方可共享風月之樂趣來勸說客人所引發人生無常之感概。

時間的流逝似乎是每個生命體中的缺口，它是事物改變，老化甚至帶來毀滅或死亡；但每個生命體也通過時間成長，學習，接納…就像蘇東坡所說的，月亮代表我們的生命，時而圓時而缺，唯有適情順物，方可共享風月之樂趣。

雨晴過後，烏雲漸散，天空佈滿了星星，襯托著皎潔的明月…我望著月亮，期待著下一次的圓月，我將回到家人友人的生旁。

From Run to Walk

I had a conversation with a best friend yesterday.
As usual, we spent a great time with some interesting topics to talk.
We talk about our family, our education and of course girls (it’s hard for guys have a conversation without talking bout girls though…lol)
And, eventually, we talk about sports.
He was challenging me for a marathon to circle the Usj2 for 2 rounds, which is about 10km in distance.
I replied with great solemn, “I am too old for this kind of heavy exercise…”
Actually, I was just crapping in order to reject his challenge as he has better potential to race me in the marathon…his leg is longer than my leg though, we had anted anyway. I thought the bet is too high for to effort if I lost.
“Yeah… time past so fast, we both are old now. Why human get old so fast?” his reply overwhelmed me.
My intention wasn’t to make the situation grim though.
So, I just make up something quick in order to make the situation better.
“Erm…good question. But, isn’t that fabulous. Try to think about it.
If we remain young forever you might just keep on running…erm…like in marathon.”
Making up story using the “marathon” topic just now.
“When you get old…you will slow down. You will stop running like you used to be when you young. Walk along and notice things you will never discover before. That’s why we meet someone than worth for you to love and care.”
“WOW…Choong…since when you become a philosopher?” he was making fun on me after my answer impressed him. ( I thought of that myself… he he)

Later at night, I think of it again.
“Yeah...Old indeed is an inconvenient truth along human’s growing path but it also a essential moment for us, too.
It slow our rushing steps down,
It move us to a more intellectual realm,
That make us think, appreciate, love and care,
Things that past by and coming towards us
On the path of our life.”


Mr.Wednesday
23/05/2007